Everyone Looks So Much Better

I Remember People Saying To Us, "you're Too Nice. Hollywood Is Going To Eat You Up And Spit You Out." I Never Listened To Them.

In New York, There Are So Many Potholes, They're Like Craters On The Moon. That's Another Traffic Thing.

One Of The Candidates At The Early Gop Debate, George Pataki, Said His Routine Before Every Debate Is To Drink A Diet Lemon Snapple Iced Tea And Pray. Which Is Also The Advice Chris Christie Gets From His Doctor.

President Obama Broke A World Record After He Reached A Million Followers On Twitter In Just Five Hours. The Only Guys Not Following Obama? His Secret Service Agents. They Lost Track Months Ago.

The U.s. Government Is Selling $30 Billion Worth Of Fighter Jets To Saudi Arabia. Yeah, It's Part Of A New Initiative Called, 'operation Regret This In Five Years.'