Every Group Needs A Comedian.

Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles Is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's Goyish. B'nai B'rith Is Goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If You Live In New York Or Any Other Big City, You Are Jewish. It Doesn't Matter Even If You're Catholic; If You Live In New York, You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You're Going To Be Goyish Even If You're Jewish.

The Only Honest Art Form Is Laughter, Comedy. You Can't Fake It.

Once You Take Away The Struggle For Food, Clothing And Shelter, Work Is The One Four Letter Word That Offends Everyone.

Guys Are Like Dogs. They Keep Comin' Back. Ladies Are Like Cats. Yell At A Cat One Time, They're Gone.

Never Trust A Preacher With More Than Two Suits.