Every Boy Should Have Two

There Seems To Be A Common Strain Of Miserliness In The American People When It Comes To Throwing Away Toothpaste Tubes Which Havea Little Left In The Bottom.

It Must Be A Source Of Great Chagrin To Those In Charge To Think Of So Many People Being Able To Stick A Stamp On A Letter And Drop It In A Mail Box Without Any Trouble Or Suffering At All. They Are Probably Working On A System This Very Minute, Trying To Devise Some Way In Which The Public Can Be Made To Fill Out A Blank, Stand In Line, Consult Some Underling Who Will Refer Him To A Superior, And Then Be Made To Black Up With Burned Cork Before They Can Mail A Letter.

Even Nowadays A Man Can't Step Up And Kill A Woman Without Feeling Just A Bit Unchivalrous.

Drinking Makes Such Fools Of People, And People Are Such Fools To Begin With That It's Compounding A Felony.

There Are Several Natural Phenomena Which I Shall Have To Have Explained To Me Before I Can Keep On Going As A Resident Member Ofthe Human Race. One Is The Metamorphosis Which Hats And Suits Undergo Exactly One Week After Their Purchase, Whereby They Are Changed From Smart, Intensely Becoming Articles Of Apparel Into Something Children Use When They Want To "dress Up Like Daddy.