Electricity Is Really Just Organized

One Great Thing About Getting Old Is That You Can Get Out Of All Sorts Of Social Obligations Just By Saying You're Too Tired.

I Have Lots Of Ideas. Trouble Is, Most Of Them Suck.

When It Comes To God's Existence, I'm Not An Atheist And I'm Not Agnostic. I'm An Acrostic. The Whole Thing Puzzles Me.

The Muslims Observe Their Sabbath On Friday, The Jews Observe On Saturday, And The Christians On Sunday. By The Time Monday Rolls Around God Is Completely F***in' Worn Out.

I Recently Went To A New Doctor And Noticed He Was Located In Something Called The Professional Building. I Felt Better Right Away.