Either We Figure Out How

I Know Vegetarians Don't Like To Hear This, But God Made An Awful Lot Of Land That's Good For Nothing But Grazing.

I Believe In Practicing Prudence At Least Once Every Two Or Three Years.

Some Days, I'd Feel Better With Punxsutawney Phil In The Oval Office - At Least He Doesn't Lie About The Weather.

How The American Right Managed To Convince Itself That The Programs To Alleviate Poverty Are Responsible For The Consequences Of Poverty Will Someday Be Studied As A Notorious Mass Illusion.

I Learned Two Things Growing Up In Texas. 1: God Loves You, And You're Going To Burn In Hell Forever. 2: Sex Is The Dirtiest And Most Dangerous Thing You Can Possibly Do, So Save It For Someone You Love.