Eggs! They're Not A Food,

If You're A Comic, You Don't Have A Rehearsal Room; You Rehearse On Stage. My Main Concern Is Remembering Everything. I've Written Lots Of Material, But How Do You Memorise 90 Minutes? That's One Hell Of A Long Speech. I've Always Had Problems With That.

Nothing Can Make Me Feel Better Now, Except Cocaine.

You Achieve The Surreal Jokes Through The Realism By Making It Elastic.

Irish People Give Big Hellos And Very Little Goodbyes. Unless They're Female, And Then They Spend Five Hours Talking In The Doorway To The Person That's Leaving Their House.

I'm Organised In Some Ways, But Not In Others.