Ed Sullivan Brought Me To

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

There's A Charm, There's A Rhythm, There's A Soul To Jewish Humor. When I First Saw Richard Pryor Perform, I Told Him, 'you're Doing A Jewish Act.'

Eating Takes A Special Talent. Some People Are Much Better At It Than Others. In That Way, It Is Like Sex, And As With Sex, It's More Fun With Someone Who Really Likes It. I Can't Imagine Having A Lasting Friendship With Anyone Who Is Not Interested In Food.

I Was A High School Throw-out.

It's Not Easy Being A Father, But I've Been Allowed A Comeback.