... Each Action Taken In

I Danced With Passion To Spite The Music.

The First Year With Abt I Learned 13 New Roles. Most Were Lengthy Ballets, More Complicated Than I Was Used To. I Have Suffered From Tendinitis Since I Was 13, And It Flared Up Again Until The Pain Was Paralyzing. There Were Times I Prayed I'd Be Sick So I Wouldn't Have To Go On.

The Voices Of Moral Authority In The Theatre Demanded Only Punctuality And Physical Performance. In The Light Of Continuing Pressure And Stress, The Occasional Lip Service Paid To Moderation Was Meaningless. Starvation And Poisoning Were Not Excesses, But Measures Taken To Stay Within The Norm.

I Embarked On A Risky Course Of Plastic Surgery And Silicone Injections, Major Dental Realignments And Gruesome Medical Procedures. I Pray That Young Dancers, Those Who Imitate Me At Their Peril, Will Avoid This Blind Alley. It Is More Than A Dead End; It Is A Dead Beginning.

The Dance Goes On Forever. So Shall I. So Shall We.