Drunks Do Not Have Friends,

Home Again, I Can Groan, Scratch, And Talk To Myself.

When I Go Out, I Hope To Leave The Worst Of Myself At Home.

Doubt Is Long-winded. Certainty Is Brief.

A Sense Of Absurdity Interferes With My Efforts To Appear Venerable.

My Young Friend Supposes His Ingenuousness Is Merely A Ruse.