Drinking Makes Such Fools Of

A Man Gets On A Train With His Little Boy, And Gives The Conductor Only One Ticket. 'how Old's Your Kid?' The Conductor Says, And The Father Says, 'he's Four Years Old.' 'he Looks At Least Twelve To Me,' Says The Conductor. And The Father Says, 'can I Help It If He Worries?

Work Is A Form Of Nervousness.

A Man Of Forty Today Has Nothing To Worry Him But Falling Hair, Inability To Button The Top Button, Failing Vision, Shortness Of Breath, A Tendency Of The Collar To Shut Off All Breathing, Trembling Of The Kidneys To Whatever Tune The Orchestra Is Playing, And A General Sense Of Giddiness When The Matter Of Rent Is Brought Up. Forty Is Life's Golden Age.

The Discovery Of Phobias By Psychiatrists Has Done Much To Clear The Atmosphere. Whereas In The Old Days A Person Would Say: 'let's Get The Heck Out Of Here!' Today She Says: 'let's Get The Heck Out Of Here! I've Got Claustrophobia.

There Are Several Natural Phenomena Which I Shall Have To Have Explained To Me Before I Can Keep On Going As A Resident Member Ofthe Human Race. One Is The Metamorphosis Which Hats And Suits Undergo Exactly One Week After Their Purchase, Whereby They Are Changed From Smart, Intensely Becoming Articles Of Apparel Into Something Children Use When They Want To "dress Up Like Daddy.