Dress Simply. If You Wear

If I Paid $3 Or $4 For A Cigar, First I'd Sleep With It.

It Takes Only One Drink To Get Me Drunk. The Trouble Is, I Can't Remember If It's The Thirteenth Or The Fourteenth.

I Look To The Future Because That's Where I'm Going To Spend The Rest Of My Life.

By [age] 93, I Had Shrunk Quite A Lot. My Car Was Known As The Phantom Cadillac. People Would See It Whizzing By And They Would Swear There Was No Driver.

People Ask Me What I'd Most Appreciate Getting For My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, A Paternity Suit.