Don't Be Bitter. Everybody Suffers.

America Cannot Afford A Rally To Restore Sanity In The Middle Of A Recession. Did You Even Consider How Many Panic-related Jobs That Might Cost Us In The Fear-industrial Complex?

Mentioning Jesus In Your Speech: Small Government. Doing What Jesus Asked: Big Government.

Senator John Kyle Claiming That Over 90 Percent Of What Planned Parenthood Does Is Abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 Percent, That Is Unbelievable...in That It Is Not True. Only 3 Percent Of What Planned Parenthood Does Is Abortion. Kyle Just Rounded It Up To The Nearest 90.

You Can't Swallow And Think About Your Tongue. If You Think About Your Tongue, You've Got A Giant Piece Of Meat In Your Mouth And That's A Terrible Feeling.

The Worst Thing About Affirmative Action Is That It Encourages Reverse Discrimination, So-called Because It Goes In The Opposite Way Of How We Naturally Discriminate.