Don't Vote, It Only Encourages

If You Haven't Heard A Good Rumour By 11:00am, Start One.

When You're Eating Something And Someone Asks 'is That Nice?' No It's Really Revolting - I Always Eat Stuff I Hate.

I've Never Done A Comedy Club In My Life. It's Weird Because I Don't Have The Same Background As Most Comics. I Don't Have A History Of Going Up And Only Doing Eight Minutes.

I Love Fishing. It's Transcendental Meditation With A Punchline.

Try To Catch A Trout And Experience The Glorious Feeling Of Letting It Go And Seeing It Swimming Away.