Don't Give Me Paper -

I Think The Cartoons That They're Children Are Watching, Particularly 'the Simpsons,' They're Ok. I Think That The Adult Audience Is Making Much Too Much Of The Danger That They Imply. That's Not The Case. The Danger For Children Today, Honey, Is The News. Keep Them Away From News On Television.

If I Found The Cure For Dystrophy Tomorrow, I Would Do A Telethon In Four Weeks For Acute Pain That In This Country Is A Bigger Problem Than Cancer, Heart, Sickle Cell, Anemia, Name It. It Is - It's Hitting 70 Million Americans.

Gambling Is Part Of The Human Condition. I Love It. I Have The Best Time Gambling. I've Been Winning Fortunes, And I've Been Losing Them.

This Is The Pain Pacemaker. I've Got A Battery Under My Skin. From That Battery Are Two Electrodes That Go Into The Spine Where They Cut Bone Away To Accommodate It. Now I Put On The Power Here. If I Have The Pain, The Stimulator Starts. It's Tingling, Like When Your Foot Falls Asleep, You Know?

I Tell Young Comics, 'do You Want This Badly Enough? It's There. But You Have To Go Get It. And If You Think I'm Going To Give You The Key To The Lock Of That Door, There Is No Key, There Is No Lock, And There Is No Door.'