Don't Ever Dare To Take

The Abused Children Are Alone With Their Suffering, Not Only Within The Family, But Also Within Themselves. They Cannot Crate A Place In Their Own Soul Where They Could Cry Their Beart Out.

Quite Often I Have Been Faced With People Who Were Praised And Admired For Their Talents And Their Achievements... According To Prevailing Attitudes, These People-the Pride And Joy Of Their Parents-should Have Had A Strong And Stable Sense Of Self-assurance. But The Case Is Exactly The Opposite... Whenever They Suddenly Get The Feeling They Have Failed To Live Up To Some Ideal Image Or Have Not Measured Up To Some Standard, Then They Are Plagued By Anxiety Or Deep Feelings Of Guilt And Shame. What Are The Reasons For Such Disturbances In These Competent, Accomplished People?

Till Now, Society Has Protected The Adult And Blamed The Victim. It Has Been Abetted In Its Blindness By Theories, Still In Keeping With The Pedagogical Principles Of Our Great- Grandparents, According To Which Children Are Viewed As Crafty Creatures, Dominated By Wicked Drives, Who Invent Stories And Attack Their Innocent Parents Or Desire Them Sexually. In Reality, Children Tend To Blame Themselves For Their Parents' Cruelty And To Absolve The Parents, Whom They Invariably Love, Of All Responsibility.

Every Life And Every Childhood Is Filled With Frustrations; We Cannot Imagine It Otherwise, For Even The Best Mother Cannot Satisfy All Her Child's Wishes And Needs. It Is Not The Suffering Caused By Frustration, However, That Leads To Emotional Illness, But Rather The Fact That The Child Is Forbidden By The Parents To Experience And Articulate This Suffering, The Pain Felt At Being Wounded.

The Commandment To Refrain From Placing Blame On Our Parents, Deeply Imprinted In Us By Our Upbringing, Skillfully Performs The Function Of Hiding Essential Truths From Us.