Do Not Spit Gum In

The One Thing I'm Terrified Of Trying To Write About Is Sex. I Mean My God, My Wife Might Read It Or My Daughter Might Read It Or My Son Might Read It, So No, I've Never Really Written About Eroticism At All.

Aside From Velcro, Time Is The Most Mysterious Substance In The Universe.

Eugene Is Located In Western Oregon, Approximately 278 Billion Miles From Anything.

I Never Had The Vaguest Idea Whether Any Of It Had Anything To Do With Me, Especially Being A Sixth Grader. When I Got Older And Traveled, I'd Read About The History Of Where I Was Going. I'd Be Like, "oh, History Is Kind Of Interesting."

Hardware: This Is The Part Of The Computer That Stops Working When You Spill Beer On It.