Destiny Planned Out, I Don't

I'm The Demon Alcohol, Demon Alcohol, Demon Alcohol, Demon Alcohol. Let's Party.

Do You Know What Causes Low Voter Turnout In America? It's The Result Of Having The Fate Of Our Nation At Stake. This Began With The Bitter Presidential Election Of 1828, Which Pitted The Education, Cultivation, And Puritan Constraint Of John Quincy Adams Against The Yahoo Populism Of Andrew Jackson, Thereby Deciding Permanently Whether America Would Become A Shining City Upon A Hill Or An Overlighted Strip Mall Along A Highway.

Mind You, It’s All Bullshit With Wine, Isn’t It? It’s Just F**king Vinegar With A Fizz, No Matter What The Tasters Say.

I'm Hoping To Do A Broadway Musical On The Life Of Rasputin. He's Someone I Can Definitely Identify With.

Being Sober On A Bus Is, Like, Totally Different Than Being Drunk On A Bus.