Cos People Think I'm On

I Like My Coffee Hot And Strong. Like I Like My Women: Hot And Strong...with A Spoon In Them.

Two Languages In One Brain? No One Can Live At That Speed!

My Stand-up Is Quite Good Now, People Say. It's Just Like A Big Conversation Each Time. Every Gig Is A Rehearsal.

You Have No Control Over Your Cat! You Can't Say To Your Cat, "cat, Heel! Stay! Wait! Lie Down! Roll Over!" 'cause The Cat's Just Gonna Be Sitting There Going, "interesting Words ... Have You Finished?" While You're Shouting All This To Your Cat, Your Dog's Next To You, Going ... [mimes Obeying All Commands] "what The Hell Are You Doing? I'm Talking To The Cat!" "oh, I'm Sorry!"

I'm Quite Good At Taking In Information So I Voraciously Inhale Wikipedia - Which May Have Some Things Wrong In It, But I Think Is Generally More Information Than We Had Before. Last Tour We Didn't Have Wikipedia. And Then Discovery Channel And History Channel. I Can Take It In And Retain What I Think Are The Most Important Facts.