Column Writing Is Like Gas

I Have A Pathological Terror Of Falling Through Ice. I Nearly Drowned Once. I Fell Off A Boat And Got A Cramp, And Was Rescued By An Oil-rig Diver, A Great Bear Of A Man Who Simply Leant Into The Water And Scooped Me Out With One Finger.

I Therefore Have To Use The Force. And Weirdly, This Doesn't Work Very Well. I Don't Understand Why, Because On The Last Census, I Put My Religion Down As Jedi Knight.

We All Know That Small Cars Are Good For Us. But So Is Cod Liver Oil. And Jogging.

The Air Conditioning In Lamborghinis Used To Be An Asthmatic Sitting In The Dashboard Blowing At You Through A Straw.

Extravagant Is, I Think, The Word We All Thought When We Met ... A Lot Of Money Went Into That [the Grand Tour's ]. I Just Thought It Would Be A Good Idea To Have A Bridge From The Old To The New And That Was A Way Of Saying 'right, Well Now Look Where We Are.'