Cockroaches And Socialites Are The

A Good Column Is One That Sells Paper. It Doesn't Matter How Beautifully It Is Written And How Much You Admire The Author... If It Doesn't Sell Any Papers, It's Not A Good Column. It's A Terrible Yardstick To Use, But In The Newspaper Business, That's The Whole Thing.

I Have A Memory Like An Elephant. I Remember Every Elephant I've Ever Met.

One Day If I Do Go To Heaven...i'll Look Around And Say, 'it Ain't Bad, But It Ain't San Francisco.

Martinis Are Like Breasts, One Isn't Enough, And Three Is Too Many.

The Only Thing Wrong With Immortality Is That It Tends To Go On Forever.