Can't You At Least Die

The Truth Is, I Had Always Wanted To Be A Comedian, But I Really Didn't Have That Kind Of Personality, And It's A Terrifying Thing To Say.

Economy Is Essential To All Good Art.

See, The Thing Of It Is, There's A Lot Of Ugly People Out There Walking Around But They Don't Know They're Ugly Because Nobody Actually Tells Them.

I Can't Eat Chicken And Look At Strippers At The Same Time.

The Swiss Have An Interesting Army. Five Hundred Years Without A War. Pretty Impressive. Also Pretty Lucky For Them. Ever Seen That Little Swiss Army Knife They Have To Fight With? Not Much Of A Weapon There. Corkscrews. Bottle Openers. ‘come On, Buddy, Let’s Go. You Get Past Me, The Guy In The Back Of Me, He’s Got A Spoon. Back Off, I’ve Got The Toe Clippers Right Here.