Cake And Tea Or Death?

I'd Like To Have Sex With Myself.

What Was The First Cat That Talked A Human Into Putting A Cat Door In?

You Notice How They Always Put The Fruit And Veg At The Entrance To The Supermarket? You Go In Thinking 'this Is A Fresh Shop, Everything In Here Is Fresh! I Will Do Well To Shop Here'. You Never Go Straight To The Bit With The Toilet Paper, Loo Brushes And Such Do You? You'd Think 'this Is A Poo Shop! Everything In Here Is Themed On Poo!

The Pope Is Guarded By The Swiss Guard Who Stand Proudly In Pajamas And Silly Hats.

If You're Choking In A Restaurant You Can Just Say The Magic Words, 'heimlich Maneuver,' And All Will Be Well. Trouble Is, It's Difficult To Say 'heimlich Maneuver' When You're Choking To Death.