But Then, Like George Michael

I Wish It Was That Easy To Get Turned On For Me - At This Point, I Need A Bottle Of Belevere And A Fighterjet.

There Should Be A Talent That Goes Along With Being Famous.

At Some Point During Almost Every Romantic Comedy, The Female Lead Suddenly Trips And Falls, Stumbling Helplessly Over Something Ridiculous Like A Leaf, And Then Some Matthew Mcconaughey Type Either Whips Around The Corner Just In The Nick Of Time To Save Her Or Is Clumsily Pulled Down Along With Her. That Event Predictably Leads To The Magical Moment Of Their First Kiss. Please. I Fall All The Time. You Know Who Comes And Gets Me? The Bouncer.

Christina Aguilera Finally Announced Her Pregnancy. Thanks For Waiting Until Your Third Trimester To Get The Word Out—why Not Just Wait Until You’re Crowning?

I Don't Think The Problem Is Telling People You're On A Diet. The Problem Is Eating Ice Cream For Breakfast.