Boxers Don't Have Sex Before

I Was Out With A Friend And He Came Over With A Pair Of Girls. I Said To Him "they're Like Buses." He Said "what? Because You Wait For Ages And Then Two Come Along At Once." I Said "no, They Are Like Buses!"

My Girlfriend Said She Wanted Me To Tease Her, So I Said "alright, Fatty."

If I'm At Home For The Weekend - And That Is Almost Never - I Tend To Get Twitchy At About Eight O'clock In The Evening Because My Body Clock Is Timed To Go On Stage. I Don't Know What To Do With Myself.

A Surprising Amount Of My Jokes Sound Very Implausible But Are True.

The Reason Old Man Use Viagra Is Not That They Are Impotent. It's That Old Women Are So Very Ugly.