Bite Me, Harry Potter.

I Loved You Way Before You Ever Had A Chance To Put A Spell On Me. I Loved You At 'i've Never Been To Long Island,'" Zach Said. I Couldn't Keep A Big Goofy Grin From My Face. I Loved You At 'i Like Seals,'" I Admitted. He Grinned Back.

Life Isn't A Romance Novel. The Truth Is, The Reason Romance Novels Sell So Well ---- The Reason Why Everyone Loves Them ---- Is Because No One's Life Is Actually Like That. Everyone Wants Their Life To Be Like That.

I Like 'em Big. And Stupid. Don't Tell My Husband.

And I Like A Good Horror Story As Much As The Next Person So Long As They Kill Off Some Men Too And Not Just Girls. But The Voices Joan Heard Were Real. There’s Clear And Substantiated Proof They Were Real.

Even If Vampires Were Stupid. Especially American Vampires. They Hung Out In Places Alaric Himself Would Never Have Gone, Especially If He Were Immortal. Such As High Schools. And Walmart.