Barack Obama Now Says He

John Kerry Said Today He Wants To Debate President Bush Once A Month. Hey Good Luck, If Bush Couldn't Make It To The National Guard Once A Month, He's Not Going To Show Up For This.

Martha Stewart Is Now Under House Arrest. So She'll Go To Her $40 Million 153-acre Estate. So She's Going From The Big House To An Even Bigger House.

The Fda Is Now Warning People Not To Eat Raw Cookie Dough This Holiday Season. Is That How Fat We're Getting In This Country? Our Ovens Are Too Slow Now?

According To A New Study, Botox Injections Can Help Back Pain. So You See, That's Why John Kerry Had All That Botox - His Back Was Killing Him From All That Flip-flopping On Issues.

The First Case Of Mad Cow Disease Since 2006 Was Discovered Right Here In The United States. The Good News, Since The Cow Is In California, Instead Of Putting The Cow Down, They Are Going To Enroll Him In Anger Management Classes.