Austerity Causes Constipation; Excess, Diarrhea.

Love Songs Now: Fewer Broken Hearts, More Sexual Misery.

The Supposed Unhappiness Of The Rich Is Always A Cheerful Topic Of Conversation.

Some Loves Are Like A Vice That Has Ceased To Give Pleasure.

Posterity--the Forlorn Child Of Nineteenth Century Optimism--grows Ever Harder To Conceive.

Manly Men And Womanly Women Are Still Here But Feeling Nervous.