Aspirin Will Not Bring Dead

Is She Crazy, Like It Says On Her Bracelet, Or Is She Just Looking At My Sheets? I Dunno!

I Like Doing Stand-up And I Love Putting Out Tv Specials. I'm Not An Actor Though, So I Don't Really Have Much Choice In The Matter.

Here's A Tip: Never Get Drunk While Wearing A Hooded Sweatshirt. You Will Eventually Think There's Someone Right Behind You.

Sex And Murder Are The Same. Well, You Say The Same After Both Don't You? "damn I Got To Get The Hell Out Of Here!" "what Was I Thinking!"

You Know, Men And Women Are A Lot Alike In Certain Situations. Like When They're Both On Fire - They're Exactly Alike.