As Soon As I Did

I Think The Idea That Death Is Not The End, That Your Dog's Just Gone To Live On The Farm, Is Limiting. Thoughts Like That Prevent You From Making The Most Of The Time That You Have.

But What's True About Comedians Is That We've All Got A Huge Hole In Our Personality. In A Room Of 3,000 People, We're The One Person Facing In The Opposite Direction - Yet We Have This Overwhelming Desire To Be Liked.

I Worry About My Nan. If She's Alone And Falls, Does She Make A Noise? I'm Joking, She's Dead.

I've Got A Friend Whose Nickname Is "shagger". You Might Think That's Pretty Cool. She Doesn't Like It.

British Scientists Have Demonstrated That Cigarettes Can Harm Your Children. Fair Enough. Use An Ashtray!