As A Live Stand-up Comedy

Maine's Motto Is "vacationland," But As Far As I'm Concerned, It Should Be, "maine: Putting The 'spite' In Hospitality Since 1820."

I Don't Care If I Tell That Story And John Roderick Gets Up Afterward And Yells, 'i Hope You Enjoyed The White Privilege, Mortality Comedy Of John Hodgman!' That's Me!" I'm Going To Play A Sad Handsome Family Song At The End And I Guarantee You Everyone Is Going To Love It Because, Sometimes, You Need A Grown Man Or Woman To Tell You What You Like.

Just Because You See An Iceberg Does Not Mean That There Isn't Global Warming.

I'm Not A Particularly Religious Person, But That Feeling Of Getting Transmissions From Someplace Else, Even If It's From Your Own Consciousness, Is Very, Very Real. To Me, At Least.

I Would Say 70 Percent Of People Who Are In Therapy Are In Therapy Not Because Of Their Upbringing, Not Because Of Their Mean Sister Or Obsessions, But Because Of Anxiety Brought About By Lack Of Financial Security.