And If There Is Sweeter

I Gotta Do Some Sad Scenes. Why, I Never Tried To Make Anybody Cry In My Life! And I Go `round All The Time Dolled Up In Kippie Clothes-wear Everything But A Corset...can`t Stub My Toe In This Picture Nor Anything! Just Imagine Having To Play-act All The Time Without Ever Getting Hit With Anything!

I`ve Had Few Dull Moments [in My Life] And Not Too Many Sad And Defeated Ones. In Saying This I Am By No Means Overlooking The Rough And Rocky Years I`ve Lived Through. But I Was Not Brought Up Thinking Life Would Be Easy. I Always Expected To Work Hard For My Money And To Get Nothing I Did Not Earn. And The Bad Years, It Seems To Me, Were So Few That Only A Dyed-in-the-wool Grouch Who Enjoys Feeling Sorry For Himself Would Complain.

All My Life I Have Been Happiest When The Folks Watching Me Said To Each Other, `look At The Poor Dope, Wilya?

Down Through The Years My Face Has Been Called A Sour Puss, A Dead Pan, A Frozen Face, The Great Stone Face, And, Believe It Or Not, "a Tragic Mask." On The Other Hand That Kindly Critic, The Late James Agee, Described My Face As Ranking "almost With Lincoln's As An Early American Archetype, It Was Haunting, Handsome, Almost Beautiful." I Can't Imagine What The Great Rail Splitter's Reaction Would Have Been To This, Though I Sure Was Pleased.

A Comedian Does Funny Things. A Good Comedian Does Things Funny.