American Men, As A Group,

If I Had My Way Everyone Would Have A Psychiatrist. When The Brain Is Sick And You Must Throw Up, You Do It By Being Purged In A Psychiatrist's Office.

I Know Why Most People Never Get Rich. They Put The Money Ahead Of The Job. If You Just Think Of The Job, The Money Will Automatically Follow. This Never Fails.

My Mother Always Called Me An Ugly Weed, So I Never Was Aware Of Anything Until I Was Older. Plain Girls Should Have Someone Telling Them They Are Beautiful. Sometimes This Works Miracles.

I've Been An Important Star And Lived A Full Life, Yet I Only Hve Three Close Friends. I Guess That's All Anyone Can Expect.

Because You Don't Live Near A Bakery Doesn't Mean You Have To Go Without Cheesecake.