America's A Family. We All

Race Doesn't Mean What It Used To In America Anymore. It Just Doesn't. Obama's Black, But He's Not Black The Way People Used To Define That. Is Black Your Experience Or The Color Of Your Skin? My Experience Is As A Mexican Immigrant, More So Than Someone Like George Lopez. He's From California. But He'll Be Treated As An Immigrant. I Am An Outsider. My Abuelita, My Grandmother, Didn't Speak English. My Whole Family On My Dad's Side Is In Mexico. I Won't Ever Be Called That Or Treated That Way, But It Was My Experience.

There's A Reason It's Called 'girls Gone Wild' And Not 'women Gone Wild'. When Girls Go Wild, They Show Their Tits. When Women Go Wild, They Kill Men And Drown Their Kids In A Tub.

If You're A Woman And A Guy's Ever Said Anything Romantic To You, He Just Left Off The Second Part That Would Have Made You Sick If You Could Have Heard It.

My Kids Used To Love Math. Now It Makes Them Cry. Thanks Standardized Testing And Common Core!

Comedians And Feminists... Are Natural Enemies, Because Stereotypically-speaking, Feminists Can't Take A Joke And... Comedians Can't Take Criticism.