All Men Like To Think

Men Are Liars. We'll Lie About Lying If We Have To. I'm An Algebra Liar. I Figure Two Good Lies Make A Positive.

Can A Woodchuck Chuck Wood? Because The Question Is, "how Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Chuck If," So You Haven't Established Or Proved Without Any Shadow Of A Doubt That A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood. Frankly, I Believe That They Chew Wood. I Don't Think They Can Chuck Wood At All! I Take Offense To The Whole Chucking Question.

Nothing's As Easy As It Is On A Sitcom. Issues That We Take Care Of In 20 Minutes On The Show Can Stretch Out Over Years In Real Families.

I Love Women. I Actually Prefer Girls, As A Parent, Because They Disappoint At A Different Age. They Go Through That, "dad's An Idiot," Which Lasted A Little Longer Than I'd Like.

While Awaiting Sentencing, I Decided To Give Stand-up Comedy A Shot. The Judge Had Suggested I Get My Act Together, And I Took Him Seriously.