All I Can Ask From

Maine's Motto Is "vacationland," But As Far As I'm Concerned, It Should Be, "maine: Putting The 'spite' In Hospitality Since 1820."

As A Live Stand-up Comedy Performer, I Have The Benefit Of Choosing Real Entrance Music.

That Which Is Hard To Do Is Best Done Bitterly.

Lies Are Just Another Kind Of Storytelling, But With The Very Distinct And Enlivening Motive Of Desperation. Since Writers Are By Nature Desperate Creatures, They Usually Do A Pretty Good (or Pretty Awful, But Always Interesting) Job Of Lying.

There Is No Metaphor For Death. All Comparisons Are Odious, But I'll Do One Anyway. We All Have These Moments Of Harsh Clarity Where We Realize That Something Is Gone, Whether That Is Youth, Whether That Is Someone We Care About, Whether That Is Where We Literally Lose Someone We Care About To Death. Or We End A Relationship That We Thought Would Last Forever, Or Have One Ended For Us. We All Have These Moments In Life Where It Seems Impossible To Fill Up The Time That We Have Left For Us, And Yet We Have To Do It Somehow.