Ah, To Be A Bird.

People Say Life Begins At Conception, I Say Life Began About A Billion Years Ago And It's A Continuous Process.

The More Syllables A Euphemism Has, The Further Divorced From Reality It Is.

When I'm Not Actually Doing My Work, I'm Planning It Or Thinking About It Or Reading Things That On Some Level Are Transformed Into Performance Fantasies. I Have No Active Interests. I Never Go Anywhere Or Do Anything That Transports Me Outside The Boundaries Of My Mind.

Golf Is An Arrogant, Elitist Game That Takes Up Entirely Too Much Space In This Country.

Swimming Is Not A Sport. Swimming Is A Way To Keep From Drowning. That's Just Common Sense!