Age Is Something That Doesn't

Hors D'oeuvre: A Ham Sandwich Cut Into Forty Pieces.

As You May Or May Not Know, In Keeping With The High-class Tone Of Beverly Hills, Our Police Force Is Probably The Most Snobbish Group Of Gendarmes In The World. It Is Said That The Beverly Hills Police Department Is So Fancy That It Has An Unlisted Number.

My Wife Mary And I Have Been Married For Forty-seven Years And Not Once Have We Had An Argument Serious Enough To Consider Divorce; Murder, Yes, But Divorce, Never.

I'm An Old Newspaper-man Myself, But I Quit Because I Found There Was No Money In Old Newspapers.

I Feel Responsible For Johnny Ray's Success. See Many Years Ago I Asked Him To Be On My Show And He Asked For A Lot Of Money And I Cried. And He Stole That From Me.