After I Left High School

You Know You're Rich When You Have To Drive For A Half Hour To Get To Your House Once You're On Your Property.

I Hate Niggas! I Hate Em! I Wish They'd Let Me Join The Ku Klux Klan!

You Know, You Get Famous And You Work In These Weird Jobs And You Don't Have A Lot In Common With People. But Once You Have Kids, You Have Everything In Common With Everybody.

I've Told Michael Jackson Jokes. If You Got Really Technical, You Could Say Those Are Jokes About Child Molestation. You Could, If You Got Technical. A Lot Of This Is Just Selective Outrage Because Honestly, The Audience Are The Ones That Tell Us That Something Shouldn't Be Spoken. The Audience Lets Us Know. And I've Never, In My Almost 30 Years Of Being A Comedian, Seen A Comedian Continue To Tell A Joke That The Audience Doesn't Respond To. I've Never Seen It.

My Mother Always Says: "you Know Better, So You'll Be Punished. Your Friends Don't Know Better, So They Won't Be Punished. They Can Go Snatch Chains And They'll Be Fine. But If You Snatch Chains, You'll End Up In Jail Because You Know Better."