According To A New Survey,

An Intruder Broke Into Mike Tyson's Hotel Room In Las Vegas While He Was Sleeping But Got Out Before Tyson Could Get To Him. I Don't Know What's Scarier. Having Someone Breaking Into Your Room While You're Sleeping Or Breaking Into Someone Else's Room And Finding Out The Guy Is Mike Tyson.

Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama Announced His New Economic Team. You Know What He Should Do? Hire Those People Who Were In Charge Of His Fundraising Campaign. We Can Pay This Thing Off In Like A Week.

I Feel Bad For People Who Die On Valentine's Day. How Much Would Flowers Cost Then, Ten Grand?

Some Democrats Say The Estimated $60 Billion Dollar Cost Of A War With Iraq Could Be Better Spent At Home. When He Heard That, President Bush Agreed And Announced Plans To Bomb Ohio.

Tonight The Republican Presidential Candidates Had A Big Debate, 10 Candidates. The Last Time That Many Rich White Guys Got Together, I Think Exxon Merged With Mobil.