A Pessimist Sees The Glass

When I Conducted A Beer-rating Session Last Year, I Wrote That Most American Beers Taste As If They Were Brewed Through A Horse. That Offended Many People In The American Beer Industry, As Well As Patriots Who Thought I Was Being Subversive In Praising Foreign Beers. I Have Just Read A Little-known Study Of American Beers. So I Must Apologize To The Horse. At Least With A Horse, We'd Know What We're Getting.

Reagan's Approach Will Achieve One Of The Basic Goals Of The Conservative: Things Remain Basically The Same. The Rich Stay Rich And The Poor Stay Poor, Or Even A Little Poorer.

All That Proves Is That Most Of The World Is Too Poor To Build Bowling Alleys, Golf Courses, Tennis Courts And Baseball Fields. There's Hundreds Of Millions Of Poor People Out There Who Still Ain't Got Indoor Plumbing, But That Don't Mean There's Something Great About An Outhouse. Soccer Is Boring. I've Never Seen A More Boring Sport.

It's No Coincidence That Female Interest In The Sport Of Baseball Has Increased Greatly Since The Ballplayers Swapped Those Wonderful Old-time Baggy Flannel Uniforms For Leotards.

The Subject Of Criminal Rehabilitation Was Debated Recently In City Hall. It's An Appropriate Place For This Kind Of Discussion Because The City Has Always Employed So Many Ex-cons And Future Cons.