A Number Of U.s. Colleges

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving. All The Food's In The Oven. And I'm In The Bedroom Performin' Self Lovin'.

Donald Trump Showed His Birth Certificate To Reporters. Who Cares About His Birth Certificate? I Want To Know If That Thing On His Head Has Had Its Vaccinations.

In The Past I've Been Hard On The Vegans. I've Called Them Prius-driving Fascists, But Now I Am One Of Them. I Have Been Turned To The Dark Side.

For Me, Comedy Should Have A Certain Amount Of Joy In It. It Should Be About Attacking The Powerful - The Politicians, The Trumps, The Blowhards - Going After Them. We Shouldn't Be Attacking The Vulnerable.

I Think I'll Be Scottish In Every Movie I Write. They Always Try To Talk Me Out Of It, But Woody Allen Is Always A Nebbish New Yorker. Why Shouldn't I Be A Goofy Glaswegian?