A New Report Found That

Shouldn't Every Day Be Earth Day? I Mean, What Are Our Options?

There Are Reports That Leaders From Isis And Al-qaida Met At A Farm House In Syria Last Week, And Agreed To Work Together Against Their Common Enemies. That Story Again: Two Radical Terrorist Groups Managed To Do What Two American Political Parties Cannot.

Rachel Dolezal Stepped Down From Her Position As President Of An Naacp Chapter After It Was Revealed That She Was A White Woman Pretending To Be Black. Now Her Brother Says He Knew About It But She Asked Him Not To Blow Her Cover. Unfortunately, Her Cover Had Already Been Blown By God When He Made Her A Blond-haired, Blue-eyed White Lady.

Jim Gilmore Was The Only Gop Candidate Not Invited To The Republican Debates Tonight, But I Saw That He Actually Planned To Live-tweet It. When He Heard That, Jeb Bush Was Like 'can I Do That? I Don't Want To Be Here!'

This Morning My Dad Called Me Up And Said, 'so, Tonight's Your Last Show, Huh.' And I Said, 'no, Dad, That's Someone Else.'