A Man Can Be Right

Th' Newspaper Does Ivrything F'r Us. It Runs Th' Polis Foorce An' Th' Banks, Commands Th' Milishy, Controls Th' Ligislachure, Baptizes Th' Young, Marries Th' Foolish, Comforts Th' Afflicted, Afflicts Th' Comfortable, Buries Th' Dead An' Roasts Thim Aftherward.

Th' Dead Ar-re Always Pop'lar. I Knowed A Society Wanst To Vote A Monyment To A Man An' Refuse To Help His Fam'ly, All In Wan Night.

Most Vegetarians Look So Much Like The Food They Eat That They Can Be Classified As Cannibals.

The American Nation In The Sixth Ward Is A Fine People; They Love The Eagle - On The Back Of A Dollar.

Viceis A Creature Of Such Heejous Mienthat Th' More Ye See It Th' Betther Ye Like It.