A Man Can Be Right

Th' Newspaper Does Ivrything F'r Us. It Runs Th' Polis Foorce An' Th' Banks, Commands Th' Milishy, Controls Th' Ligislachure, Baptizes Th' Young, Marries Th' Foolish, Comforts Th' Afflicted, Afflicts Th' Comfortable, Buries Th' Dead An' Roasts Thim Aftherward.

Vice Is A Creature Of Such Hideous Mien... That The More You See It The Better You Like It

It [thanksgiving] Was Founded By The Puritans To Give Thanks For Bein' Preserved From The Indians, An' We Keep It To Give Thanks We Are Preserved From The Puritans.

It Must Be A Good Thing To Be Good Or Ivrybody Wudden't Be Pretendin' He Was.

The Past Always Looks Better Than It Was; It's Only Pleasant Because It Isn't Here.