A Lot Of People Are

I Thought I'd Had Another Few Decades Before My Noise Complaint Years.

Uniqueness Is Wasted On Youth. Like Fine Wine Or A Solid Flossing Habit, You'll Be Grateful For It When You're Older.

He Also Tried To Block The Doorway When She Left Him. My Mother Ducked Under His Arm, Ran To Her Car, And Drove Away. I Remember Thinking That This Was Somehow Romantic, As It Pinpointed The Actual Memory Of My Mother's Departure, Something You Don't See A Lot Of In Television. Real People Don't Slam Doors Without Opening Them Five Minutes Later Because It's Raining And They Forgot Their Umbrella. They Don't Stop Dead In Their Tracks Because They Realize They're In Love With Their Best Friend.they Don't Say, "i'm Leaving You, Jack," And Fade To A Paper Towel Commercial.

For A Long Time I Wanted To Draw, But I Could Never Get The Proportions Right. My Still Life Sketches Were The Artistic Equivalent Of Someone Who Has Misjudged The Space Constraints Of A Postcard, The Handwriting Shrinking Uncomfortably At The Bottom.

A Pet Store Is A Celebration Of Dogs' Existence And An Explosion Of Options. About Cats, A Pet Store Seems To Say, 'here, We Couldn't Think Of Anything Else.' Cats Are The Hanukkah Of The Animal World In This Way. They Are Feted Quietly And Happily By A Minority, But There's Only So Much Hoopla Applicable To Them.