A Humorist Tells Himself Every

Television Is More Interesting Than People. If It Were Not We Should Have People Standing In The Corner Of Our Room.

Sadly, As With So Much About History's Heroes, It's The Spotting Of Potential Fame That's The Difficulty, Whether It's Publishing Their Poems, Hanging Their Paintings, Or Buying Their Old Underwear. Think Of The Great Men Whose Lives Passed In Penury And Hacking Coughs Due To Public Unawareness That Their Littlest Possession Would End Up At Sothebys Or The Basement At Fort Knox.

The Role Of Humour Is To Make People Fall Down And Writhe On The Axminster, And That Is The Top And Bottom Of It.

Being A Personality Is Not The Same Thing As Having A Personality.

In The Days When The Keepers Of The House Shall Tremble, And The Strong Men Shall Bow Themselves, And The Grinders Cease Because They Are Few, And Those That Look Out Of The Windows Be Darkened, I Know One Boy Who Won't Be Sweating. I Intend To Raise My Coffin-lid Briskly, Throw A Few Things Into An Overnight Bag, And, Whistling Something Appropriate, Prepare To Meet My Maker.