A Female Salmon Lays Three

I'm Sure Some Of You Are Wondering Whether My Breasts Are Real. Let Me Just Explain To You. This One Is, This One Isn't.

There Are Many Self-help Books By Ph.d.s, But I Hold A Different Degree: An I.b.t.i.a.-i've Been Through It All. This Degree Comes Not On Parchment But Gauze, And It Entitles Me To Tell You That There Is A Way To Get Through Any Misfortune.

I Wish I Could Tell You It Gets Better. It Doesn't Get Better. You Get Better.

Your Proudest Moment Is To Watch Your Egg Not Just Function, But To Achieve On Her Own.

Victoria Beckham Is So Nasty, Why Doesn't She Just Go Home?! Her Dresses Are Beautiful, But I Don't Care What She Does. She's Mean To All The People Around Her. She's Too Short To Be A Diva. We All Use The Same Hairdressers, Make-up Artists, Limo-drivers And Greeters At The Airports In La And Nobody Has Anything Nice To Say About Her. They Say She's Rude. She Can't Always Just Be Having A Bad Day.