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From 1934 To 1963, The Biggest Criminals In America Ended Up On Alcatraz. Nowadays They End Up On Wall Street.

Every Year Law Schools Churn Out Thousands Of Lawyers. We Don't Need Any More Lawyers. We Need More Lawyers Like We Need More Talk-show Hosts.

The Difference Between A Broadcaster And A Host Is That A Host Tells Stories And Dumb Jokes, But A Broadcaster Can Articulate Deeper Like, You Know - Things And Stuff.

I Know That's Not The Right Accent, But I Can't Do The Right Accent. It's Either The Wrong Accent Or Another Octomom Joke.

The New Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Is Now Pope Francis The 1st. Francis Was Not His First Choice For A Name. But The Vatican Wisely Talked Him Out Of Pope Boo Boo.