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When Martha Gets Out She'll Be Under House Arrest In Her Big $40 Million Mansion In Bedford. Boy, That'll Teach Her. She's Only Allowed Out Of The House For Doctors Visits, Grocery Shopping, Or To Dump More Stock.

Here's Good News: George W. Bush Says That He Is Committed To Fighting Global Warming. Yeah, Well, He Nipped That In The Bud, Didn't He? ... President Bush Says He's Really Going To Buckle Down Now And Fight Global Warming. As A Matter Of Fact, He Announced Today He's Sending 20,000 Troops To The Sun

Cbs News Finally Received Anthrax In The Mail. As Usual, We're Number Three.

Earlier Today, We Got A Call From Stephen Hawking. He's A Genius, And After 6,028 Shows He Ran The Numbers And He Said It Works Out To About Eight Minutes Of Laughter.

Today Is Veterans Day. Thank You To All Our Men And Women Who Have Served The United States Armed Forces. In Honor Of Veterans Day We Are Marching Out A Few Jokes That Have Already Served.