When I Was A Kid

Dogs Are The Broccaflower Of The Animal Kingdom.

I Had To Work In One Of The Most Beautiful Ski Resorts In The World For Almost Three Weeks. Pity Me.

I'm Not A Comic Book Character. I'm Not Indiana Jones Or Bond, I'm A Flesh And Blood Guy Who Is Ageing And Changing. I Don't Have To Do What I Did In '93. I Couldn't Do It And Thank God.

Garry Shandling Is Someone I've Publicly Gone Gay For, For Jokes. Oh And Anyone In The Twilight Movies. I Don't Know Any Of Their Names, But All Of Them. The Wolves, The Vampires? They're All Fantastic.

Our Country Was Founded On A Distrust Of Government. Our Founding Fathers Gave Power To The People To Keep An Eye On Government. So When Politicians Say, 'trust Me,' They're Actually Being Very Un-american.