When I Was A Kid,

Richard Pryor Is My Favorite Stand-up Ever.

I Hate Fame. I Hate Being Recognized, Because I Don't Know How To Talk To People.

This Is A Thing I Read By A Scientist... It Said Scientists Now Say That A Man Thinks About Sex Once Every 7.3 Seconds. Now, I Know What I Think Every 7.3 Seconds. It's Just A Bunch Of Meaningless Gibberish.

I Started On 'saturday Night Live' The Same Time Conan Started On 'late Night.' We Just Had A Relationship Because I Would Be Upstairs In The Studio And Whenever He Couldn't Get A Guest - Which Was Often Back Then Since He Was Just Starting Out - He Would Just Call Me Down To Be A Guest.

A Proper Disposition Of Time Leaves A Man At Leisure In The Very Bustle Of Affairs; Without Delaying The Attention Of His Concerns To The Last Or Giving Them Unnecessary Application At First: It Affords A Season For Everything By Affording Everything Its Proper Season.